I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
