1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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