just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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