bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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