Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
