I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
