Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
