I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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