I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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