My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
