yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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