What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Are we still banned from the library?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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