I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
