I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
