Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize