garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
