Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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