I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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