Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
