Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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