so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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