Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
