I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
