Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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