My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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