I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
These tits shall not be calmed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
