he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
