They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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