i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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