If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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