There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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