Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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