She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
