We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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