Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
