Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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