Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
