somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
