This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
