when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
