somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
