i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What's dad's email?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.