Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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(254): View more from Texas

When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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(662): View more from Mississippi

An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.

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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.

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(817): View more from Texas

He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

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(210): View more from Texas

Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015

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(716): View more from New York

i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him

(516): View more from New York

all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN

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