Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain