i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
