you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Life is so much better after having sex.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize