So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
