my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
