I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
