i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
