apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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