matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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