We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
