I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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