Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize