It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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