you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we should paint friendship bongs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
