marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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