All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
