her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
