I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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