I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
