Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize