I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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